Spiritual Father and Son Guidelines
There will be times in our spiritual life that we will be encouraged to be a spiritual father to someone or ask someone to be our spiritual father.This guideline has been put together to give you some suggestions in what it may look like to be a spiritual father and what is expected to be a spiritual son. By no means is this a complete guideline. You can add or tailor it to your circumstances. One thing must remain, that whatever you do, it is biblically based.
In becoming a spiritual father you are taking on the task of mentoring a spiritual son in his daily walkspiritually and physically. Here are some guidelines to follow:
1. A spiritual father needs to be in control biblically in his walk in the Lord as well as teaching his family the same biblical principles. If you have chaos in your current family situation, I dont recommend you become a spiritual father just yet. Get your house in order first.
a. You need to strive to be in the word daily.
b. You need to be in prayer daily.
c. You need to strive to wash your family in the word daily.
d. How can you give spiritual wisdom to a spiritual son when you lack it?
2. If approached by someone wanting you to be a spiritual father to them, tell them that you will need to pray about it first. Don't feel bad if the spirit is telling you, not to do it at that time. If you feel an uneasiness, tell them that maybe they need to pray about it and seek the Lord and possibly he has someone else in mind for them to seek out as a spiritual father.
3. If you are married, I suggest you discuss this with your spouse and have her pray as well to see if her spirit is in agreement.
4. If you feel that the spirit is telling you to pursue this individual to be a spiritual son, set up a meeting time to review your expectations with your potential spiritual son as well as his expectations. If they seem to agree, that is a sign that it will be a good relationship.
5. One thing you can test out this relationship of spiritual father and spiritual son, is see if they
are hungry enough to keep this relationship going and would do what Elisha did when he pursued Elijah as recorded in 1 Kings 19:19-21 and 2 Kings 2. Elisha would not stay back when
Elijah told him to on numerous accounts. Elisha left everything to pursue the teachings and ministry of Elijah.
Examples that you can do as you make your final decisions on both sides is do the following exercises:
a. Give out biblical verses for your son to read and get back to you on his thoughts.
b. Biblical verses could be a chapter in Proverbs. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs. Just read the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. For example, if it is the 10th day of the month, read chapter 10.
c. Do this exercise for a week or two. If he comes back and does not do them and has multiple excuses, he is not ready to be mentored. You will get frustrated.
6. If everything looks like it is a go, record the date that you accept him as your spiritual son, that becomes his SS birthday. This way every year that goes by you can celebrate it.
7. It is a good idea to strive and email, or text your son daily with a biblical thought or insight that
you read in your studies. He should also be encouraged to do the same in what he is learning.
a. Maybe you pick a study and do it together. Use the church's resources like Right Now Media to do studies together.
8. It is a good idea to strive at least daily, or worst case weekly if schedule permits to make a call
to him and see how he is doing. Try to communicate with him at least once a week.
a. Questions to ask is how his day, or week is going? Is there anything you need to pray with him about? If he has a family, how are they doing?
9. Let him know that you are available anytime should he need to call or communicate.
10. Doing Life Together
a. In order to get to now each other better, plan some activities. Activities with you Spiritual Son and on occasion include his family. Examples of activities can be:
i. Meet for coffee.
ii. Do a movie
iii. Meet for lunch or dinner
iv. Have a cookout
v. Go camping
vi. Go to a game
11. If you have more than one spiritual son, make it a point to get the sons together. As your family grows you have more spiritual family that can help in prayer and guidance.
a. Don't be upset if your spiritual son gets side tracked and leaves you for a season. God has given us all free will. Just like in the Prodigal son parable, the father let him go, and the son did return. I believe that father prayed for that son daily and when he returned back he ran to bring him back into the fold.
b. If a spiritual son will not receive and honor correction, they probably aren't a true son.
c. A spiritual father has a responsibility to call out what he sees and what he is concerned about that could be detrimental. How a son handles it speaks volumes about trust and real desire to walk in this kind of committed relationship.
d. Also, if a son disregards the advice of a father consistently, they are not exhibiting an honor for the investment of the spiritual father.
e. Practice Matthew 18 expressly when dealing with confrontation.
Dealing with a Sinning Brother
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
18 “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
f. Keep confidences unless an intervention is absolutely necessary.
13. The only time a spiritual son can part ways with his spiritual father is if he becomes corrupted
and leaves the biblical teachings. The spiritual son is encouraged to pray for his spiritual father that God restores him.
In becoming a Spiritual Son, there are some guidelines that you need to consider. Asking another individual to be your spiritual father is an honor and comes with great expectations. Here are some guidelines to follow:
1. Be in prayer and seek the Lord to see who he places on your mind to ask to become a spiritual father. Dont just get caught up in the moment, you need to really seek it out. If your heart's not in it, you are wasting your time and the the spiritual fathers.
2. Reference the guidelines above on what guidelines a spiritual father goes through to accept a spiritual son. Your heart and his, needs to be on the same wave length.
3. The spiritual son, if he is serious, will complete assignments or tasks that the spiritual father gives him to do that is biblically based.
4. The only time a spiritual son can part ways with his spiritual father is if they become corrupted and leave the biblical teachings. The spiritual son is encouraged to pray for his spiritual father that God restores him.
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Did you not know that (we) must be about (the) Father’s business?
"And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
The LORD is a man of war; The LORD is His name.